the past couple months i have been struggling with the direction my life is headed and where i want it to go. after the initial shock of never returning to my care-free undergraduate life, i had given in to the idea of beginning my "real-life" with a mediocre job and a satisfactory way of living.
now as the weeks go by, with no job offers might i add, i begin to wonder what other time in my life will i be able to make such deliberate and uncomplicated decisions from a list of seemingly limitless possibilities. i miss the nurturing and positive environment of the classroom setting, where you feel that you are unique and your ideas matter. however, i want to get out and experience something real, but not corporate real. i have fantasies (not those fantasies, gross) of traveling, writing, painting, late night coffee chats, and dancing.
i'm young and i only have one life. sure, i get chances and i believe in third, fourth, seventeenth chances, but you only get one life to do what you really love. i am afraid of taking risks, but who isn't? what if i fail? what if i'm not good enough? i really love art, but the choice as a career is a huge risk in and of itself.
i'm not sure about going back to school and completing a masters. it could be a huge waste of my time (maybe not huge) and i could have spent those two or three years getting experience. i also believe that i'm just not good enough.. yet. all this thinking and over-analyzing leaves me confused, disheartened, and drained. a little pathetic too..right now i pray i make the right choices or at least ones that aren't too far off track.
a ramble post, just had to write it down somewhere.
so basically balenciaga's fall rtw line is pure genius. i think the draping and the quality of the fabric when the light hits it is lovely. the use of patterns and textured tights and pops of mustard are amazing. i love how some of the patterns have an almost granite and sedimentary quality to them. i was starting to get depressed looking at upcoming fall fashion but this collection has stirred some excitement, thank goodness.
source: the top set is her at some red carpet event, the second is from september issue of nylon, and the third set is from the UK GQ september issue.
i realize i have a slight obsession, and i also know she appears to be a homewrecker...nonetheless, she dresses impeccably. i have been watching some awesome movies lately: gigantic, waitress, and paris, je t'aime. they may not get rave reviews, but i still enjoy a little quirkiness. if i could find a job that would be more awesome, i would trade in all the movies i've seen for a job. yes.