and with money to spare and with nights at the end

i thought i would update you on how my summer has been. on a scale from 1 - 10 (10 being awesome) it's at a 8.75, that's pretty fair.  i did several things that happened on the regular and some that were the only events documented on my phone:

i had many puppy kisses and heard a lot of adam giggles.  i think i was in bed for at least 65% of the summer, basically doing nothing but rolling around in my bleach-stained sweatpants eating nutella out of the jar. i think we can also add that to my "favorite activities list" if i ever make one of those lists.

we went to the beach. a lot. we slathered on that spf 30, grabbed our chairs, 6-pack of budweiser, and a trashy magazine and headed out the door every weekend.  i think someone said we were "beach bums"? sure, if relaxing for 3+ hours while listening to ryan adams on your music bullet, sipping a frosty beverage and inspecting the creatures that walk up and down the shore is being a "beach bum," then add that to my google+ profile. i will flaunt my beach bum-ness all day long!

uh, we hung out in bed a lot. pretty sure this was after a marathon of "friday night lights" where we continued to speak like tim riggins and lyla garrity for at least 3 solid weeks post season.  my stomach still drops every time i think i won't get to see coach taylor give another locker room lecture in dillon texas. (side note: we also browsed a lot of internet memes whilst in bed--top 10 favorite activities list as well.)

frands visited! and every time a friend visits we have a "fat-kid-tour-of-norfolk."
this consists of hitting up our favorite places to eat:
- cogans
- no frill
- twest
- skinny dip
- ten top
(when britt and adam visited we added kelly's tavern, might i add that kelly's has spectacular fried potatoes AND they give you ranch without even asking. wtf!)

i went to the norfolk zoo and it was awesome. i will compare it to the san antonio zoo, which if you have not been to and you live there, go, it's fab. i got to frolic in my natural environment, as seen in the below picture. and don't confuse it with a rabies outbreak, that is just me in a state of pure excitement.

july 4th was cool because i could find a reason to wear/buy these sunglasses. that is all.

i went to new york! twice, and i will going again in september. this most recent adventure was filled with outdoor concerts, sketchy encounters, polish feasts, and smelly bus rides. we went to an after party where my skirt became the floor mop and several doughy hipsters gave us the evil eye. me no care! my budweiser was $4 and i got to dance to swedish band little dragon at this asbestos covered bar.

and don't forget the star of this blog, huxley bear. he turned one year old and he's not even showing any wrinkles. what a honey boo boo child.

(source: my instagram (follow me @helensta), anders sexcellent photo skills (@larssonanders), and seth's long arm (@seff86).



My head lowered to the cement ground, and my newly cut bangs fell in front of my face.  I brushed them away and allowed my eyes to dart back and forth catching glimpses of metallic rocks embedded in the pavement.  I let them go from the end of the parking space all the way to the handicap sign painted in front of my feet.  For some reason I thought I could decode a message the shapes in the ground were making--the oil splatter to the left, leading to the cigarette butts on the right.  They were saying, "Let your mind race, but your body move slow."

My body answered back with the slowest moving limbs.  I could feel a lazy mass creep from my fingertips to my shoulders.  It traveled up the bones in my neck to the base of my skull. I let it slide over my brain, sending signals to my eyelids and I could feel each one of them shut over my eyes. 

I thought about how lucky I am and how sad I felt sometimes. I could feel my legs sensing the confusion, and I could hear my heart warning me about what may lie ahead.  And I felt pure happiness yesterday afternoon sitting in my car, but I couldn't tell if it was from the warmth of the seat belt that fit snug across my lap or the anticipation of holding hands with my best friend.  I let myself believe it was both.  It all felt so right that I kept double-looking both ways when I crossed the street; it was in fear that it could be easily taken away from me.

No one ever tells you about the anxiety that follows the feeling of happiness.