dream apartment.

most come from a cute tumblr called mary ruffle.
i can't wait to decorate my own place. inspired by rustic, blues, greens, cream & whites, fabrics
cute patterns, minimal country.


the day-to-days

so. i am trying to train my mind to stop making immediate judgments and jumping to the worst conclusions.  it's been rather difficult. actually, it's been nearly impossible.  my mind sort of goes like this:

(noticing... "what is she wearing?" "that looks horrible." "helen, stop." "has she ever heard of a mirror?" "good for her for not caring..") ...that is a terrible series of thoughts.


(noticing..."what the f*ck, what is wrong with people these days"....fuming....gripping the steering wheel...cursing in my head...)


(noticing..."why is she so pretty and skinny?"..."she must be boring in person"..."oh my god helen, stop this..."..."i'm sure she's an awesome person"..."makes me want to kill myself.."...)

see? a terrible series of thoughts. i wonder if other people do this or am i the only one having this internal struggle with a piss poor mindset and ungrateful thoughts? and how do you just stop it completely before it even enters your mind?

speaking of jealousy and judgement..

the weekend:

spent in bed. all day. watching movies, renting movies, via blockbuster, redbox, ondemand...seriously...it's almost a problem.  here's a list of movies:

- the kids are alright
- family guy: it's a trap
- insomnia
- dinner for schmucks
- sex and the city 2

i know, it's a lot.
adam and i eat all our meals in bed (i think there's a phrase that discourages this, but..uh...who cares).  we talk about what we did that day, what we want to do tomorrow, and what we want to do next year.  we complain, we compliment, we laugh, (sometimes cry), yell, laugh some more, (guffaw), and about 83% of the time we tease and torment each other. i'm excited for a couple things...some will shed light here in a couple weeks...we're also planning on visiting nyc in the middle of february (during fashion week hooray) and then maybe something else.  a couple concerts maybe? jimmy eat world...beach house? i definitely need an event to break up the mundane. 

what are you all planning in the next couple weeks?


best of:

best of 2010:

new york.

summer at the beach.

harry potter marathons.


new music.

a virginian fall.

pizza parties.


the frills

Kurt Geiger.


you'll say, "oh, sing one we know."

i need a daily reminder telling me. to slow down. to appreciate the details. to be gracious. to be smart. to be understanding. to vocalize. to laugh. to stop thinking. to breathe.

“People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you are fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it…”

source: this tumblr (one of my favorites)


happy old year

less resolutions; more solutions:

- despite the weather (this shall be a brighter year)
- positive positive positive
- i back-tracked a bit in terms of career (but found what i really want to do) -- landed a job (not what i want to do) -- still on a hunt (even if it means backtracking once more
- lessening my emotional load
- cook more; defrost less
- focus on a craft
- love more
- visit my family
- understand
- wash my jeans
- be good, be kind, and remember that everyone is fighting the hardest battle.


source from tumblr & ffffound


the chex mix that was 2010

the bold and the zesty (every so often a bumpy tasteless stick is thrown in there too..)
 analogy fail.

- moving to brooklyn (specifically williamsburg--labeled as the hipster mecca) although i'm tired of this label...
- pursuing  my dream of music and design (I WILL GET THERE ONE DAY I SWEAR IT TO BE TRUE)
- finding routine in my oh-so hectic life
- finding adventure in my routine life
- making new friends!
- inside jokes with my best friend
- driving TEN different cars (not sure if that's an accomplishment, but i say it's zesty)
- pretending to get back into painting (i am pathetic)
- I MET A BOY, MOM! (he calls me "dream come true," but honest to moses, i only date him for his butt and eyes...sshh)
- i can finally call san antonio "home." (for a girl who's moved 14 times in her life...this is the most awesome feeling)
- cooking on the real. (but seriously...the other day i made tenderloin steaks with red onion marmalade)
- READING (heaven.)
- surviving all forms of transportation (dank subways, musty cabs (and dollar cabs), freezing airplanes, and the grimiest buses. ever.)
- having the best roommates (mom, dad, claire, adam...)
- morning weekends at charlie's (coffee + veggie omelet + home fries)..i swear "omelet" was spelled more european than that...whatever google..)
- NOT HAVING CABLE OR INTERNET (a bold move if i say so)
- dreaming about moving back to nyc and finding the most awesome career ever (but then spending money on cheap rings and patterned tights...stepping back and being realistic)
- moving THREE TIMES.

i pat you on the back "2010" because when i look on our times together it fills me with great joy. i'm sad, hopeful, and anxious for 2011. surprise me.